What The Lord Showed Me This School Year
This semester was a tough one. I was juggling a lot of things. School (full-time), work (full-time), ministries at church, blogging, and family/friends. I really was trying to give each area my 100%. Rev. Lesley told me the most fantastic thing one day. She said “Sunshine you will not be able to give your 100% in every area, and that is okay.” The perfectionist in me wanted to scream, but my heart was relieved. I needed that truth because I had a hard time, but I learned a lot this semester regarding myself, and my walk with the Lord. Can I share what was revealed to me this school year?
1. I lacked trust.
My trust in the Lord was not where I thought it was. Trusting that the Lord would see me through faded sometimes. I simply was striving to maintain in my own strength, and did not depend on Him at all. It was so bad because I would cry morning, noon, and night because I was so tired. I did learn that my trust needed to increase. I need to cease striving and know who God is (Psalm 46:10). Know that He will fight for me, but I have to let Him, and that requires trust!
2. Doubt clouded me.
I started to doubt that I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do because I was so overwhelmed. I was second guessing myself a lot this school year. Doubted that I can make it. Doubted that I was smart enough to complete this school year. Doubted that I was a victor because I was so weak.
4. The spirit of perfectionism has to go!!!!!!!
5. I can procrastinate a lot. I used the excuse that I was tired, and let time slip by without doing what I needed to do.
It may seem weird that I would be telling you a lot of negative traits that I struggle with. As the Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness.” I am glad the Lord revealed to me traits that needed to change. In Him is where I draw my strength and where the habits can be broken. I am glad I did not allow what I saw stop me from moving forward. I love the Lord because He is a teacher. He taught me through His word. He taught me how to develop good habits that would help me in the upcoming school year. He did not judge me. He was patient with me. He never gave up on me. Your situation may not look the same as mine, but either way we have our big brother Jesus to help us. He is indeed trustworthy! Change does not come overnight, but I am so blessed that His grace is sufficient for me and for you! Please don’t give up sister. You are a victor, and more than a conqueror! No matter what He reveals to you just know He is doing it for your good. I love you, and you are coming forth as gold!