Now It Shall Spring Forth: Part Two
In September of 2016 the Lord shifted things for me. One day after I drove 45 minutes to fill out an application when I thought I had an interview I was beyond discouraged. Doubt and unbelief started to creep in. Meanwhile, I was still embarrassed from going into 7-11, and putting quarters in the cashier hands, and he lays them out on the counter to count $3. Everyone looking at me like “I know she did not just put $3 on pump 5.” I was humiliated to say the least. That day I felt so low, and as tears started to fill my eyes. I heard the Holy Spirit say “go pray.” I was hesitant. My old nature wanted to just cry, but I knew there was power in prayer, and praying when broken is the best thing you can do. I got up and prayed, and this time I prayed a specific prayer. My mom text me before I got up to pray and asked how the interview went, and I told her the story. When I came back to the living room my mom text me about a job. I told her I was interested. That Friday morning my mom called me, and said she got me in working with her company. I got a job that was all God. You see my mother is Project Manager for a company, and she is the Project Manager for the contracts that the company is awarded. I always asked to work with my mother, and she always told me because I was her daughter. When I prayed there was a shift that took place. It was nobody but God that nudged my mother’s heart to call the owners, not her boss, but the owners to see if I could work there. They said yes, and you girl started working!!!!! There is power in your prayers. Even when you don’t feel like praying never let your emotions block you from praying. Not just so God can turn your situation around, but do it so you can have peace. Even if I did not get a job praying that day filled me with peace and assurance. I was so excited, but the trials did not end.
I was training on my new job, and one individual that was on the other contract did not like that I was working there. Even though I was not working under my mom, and was not working in the same building as her there was a problem. My mother came to get me after my shift was over, and she had to fire me. The other contract PM had an issue. I was out of a job again. It later came out that the woman was mad because her husband did not get hired. She decided to get revenge, and have me fired. I was not mad about the incident, and you can ask my mother. My exact words were “there must be something else bigger and better for me.” The recent season I was just in equipped me for tests like this. I started to truly walk in faith, and not let my circumstances affect me. A week later another position bigger and better opened up for me, so I took that one! I started working at the new position, and still had some opposition. They were un organized, so I was going from one contract to another. Doing nothing most days. Being ever ready when they wanted me to travel four hours to headquarters to train, and ended up on no contract. That season was not in vain either. The Lord was doing a work in me in some areas. That job was training ground. He exposed some attitudes that needed to change. He exposed some bondages and strongholds that were holding me hostage. He was digging up some memories that held me captive. He was developing my patience. He was testing my faith. All of those things affected how I dealt with the people on the job. He told me “where I am taking you all of this stuff can not come.” It had nothing to do with the job, or the people. This was about God getting to the root of some of my pain, and corrupt thinking. This also was not taking place with my job, but with the Praise Dance Ministry that I am apart of. The Lord was showing me what was in my heart. The opposition was to expose what was on the inside, and the old habits that needed to die. I had to learn in this season that the Lord was going after some character traits that needed to be adjusted. It was not people ganging up on me. It was the Lord revealing, digging, teaching, and guiding. That is where true growth, humility, and transformation take place. When you start to say “What is in my heart Lord?” “What do you want me to change?” If the enemy can get you to focus on others, and what is going on around you, you will not get free. You will stay stagnate! The devil is a liar. I was aware of the enemies plan, and I was not going to allow that sucka to hold me back! I made the choice to allow the Lord to cut me open, and do open heart surgery. He is still doing it now, but I made the choice!
Meanwhile, in early 2017 my ex was still doing things out of spite. Stealing the tags off of my car, and stealing the car out of the church parking lot. I was getting hit from every side!!!!! He seemed to do this every Sunday before I danced. I realized that was nothing but the enemy trying to dim the light on my calling. If he could get me down before I went to Minister then I would not dance like Le’nae. I would not shine bright. I had to train myself to let the attacks roll off my back, and when my feet touched the floor to dance before my King and give Him praise. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I had to learn to persevere, and believe I am who God says I am, and I am coming out! The next thing I know I was blessed to purchase my very own vehicle. In my name only. I named her Grace! I was moving forward, and then two weeks later after purchasing my car in March of 2017 I was in a car accident. I was leaving dance practice driving on the highway to my house. Out of nowhere I lost control of the car, and I went from the left lane all the way to the other side of the highway, and got hit by a SUV. Yes, in my new car! I got out of the car and ran to the other car because they went into the woods. After the police got there, and I was still. I realized that I am alive, and not injured. I could have been hit by every car on the highway as my car was spinning in circles. I burst into tears because the enemy just really tried to take me out. I was just driving, and then next thing I know my car was out of control. I have never been so shaking up in my life, and I have been in plenty of accidents. In my heart I knew that this was an attack. The next morning of course I had to dance at church. I got up and was so filled with the Spirit because I am alive and well. I could have been dead and gone. I got on my knees and cried to my papa. I literally said “Satan just tried to sift me like wheat.” I danced so hard that day. I gave Him all of me. Then at our first service guess what Scripture my Pastor came out of? Luke 22:31. I fell out lol. He tried to take me out, but the Lord covered me. This was just another test!
The Lord is still digging, and here comes May of 2017. Boy, did I receive a fresh word before my 27th birthday read about that here. I could feel a shift was getting ready to take place in my life. My heart was heavy with stepping into my purpose. I knew something was coming. On May 26, 2017 I was laid off from my job. Now that was not the shift I was expecting lol. I left the office that day with gratitude. I thanked the Lord for the job that He gave me, and the opportunity to get back on my feet. All I could say was “Lord what do you want me to do?” It is so funny because this same time last year I was in the same boat. I did not flinch. I knew that God was up to something. Of course I had plenty of time to spend with papa. I was the student in this season. I learned so much, and in deeper depth. I was really enjoying myself. I am not going to lie to you it is was humiliating though. Here I was again no job, and money. Everyone in my household going to work, and I am at home at 27. I wasnt even there for 8 months, and I was gone. At home spending time with God, and everyone talking about me again. People saying cruel things to me. Laughing at me, and like Job’s friends thinking I did wrong. How could this happen to me? I am a friend of the Lords, but He was doing something far bigger than I could have imagined. It took me awhile to get this. I thought maybe I did not grasp something the last time I was in this season, or I did something wrong. He told me “No, you did nothing wrong.” “For this was all by design.” A separation was taking place. Transformation! He was re positioning me. He was getting the debris that was still there. He was doing something in me, so that He could do something greater through me. He was developing me! He was testing me to see if my faith was genuine (1 Peter 1:6-7). My Pastor has been speaking on passing the test for some time now. Every Sunday the Lord has been confirming things for me. I love my Pastor because He breaks it down, and his desire is for us to understand what is really happening. These trails were not to hurt me. This was to increase my faith, convert me, and be released to do His great works with great faith, and His power. No, I am not saying I am perfect now. I will never be perfect. I will tell you that I get it. I understand that this is not about me. Yes, things are happening to me, but there is also something happening on the inside of me that God is perfecting to use for His glory. All of this was an opportunity for me to go deeper, and deeper, and deeper with Him. Be taught by Him. Be freed by Him. Be loved by Him. Be hidden in Him! To grow, and be converted. This is what this is all about. Do you honestly think that transformation is going to be a peace a cake? Do you honestly think transformation is not going to hurt? I surrendered, and it hurt. I went through things that some would have never thought. People said things about me, and to me that made me want to hide under a rock. Everyone was looking at me. Oh how this season, and year has freed me. He told me last month "every yoke is broken." I can not tell you what happened. It is so undescribable. No words can describe how good our God is. I am just blessed I passed the test! I am finally walking in my purpose. Not just with Fancy&Fearless, but with my new job as well. He illuminated everything for me. All that I went through, and still going through is not only so I come out, but to help someone else come out too. I want to thank you for reading. I know this was long, but I had to share. I had to share how your darkest, shameful, humiliating times can be transformed into glory. There is a purpose in suffering. I know that I am going to encounter trials up ahead, but the last two years prepared me, molded me, and anchored me to stand firm. It also changed my life. I am truly a different woman. I feel it. I can not wait to see what God has in store, and I pray you are apart of it. I love you so much! Keep moving forward my love.