Now It Shall Spring Forth
There is beauty in your brokenness. That is what I had to keep telling myself in yet another season of being broken. The last two years the Lord has really been doing a work in me, and I always say that, but now I am going to share. I started to share my story a couple of months ago, and did not finish posting on the blog because the Lord wanted the rest to be in my book. Trust me my testiomony is coming out little by little! I am still going through the fire, but I have come to a place where I finally get it, so now I can share what has been taking place in the last two years! The years of extreme spiritual growth and maturity!
In 2016 I was the woman who was doing what most of you single women do, and I pray for that cycle to be broken right now in the name of Jesus. One, I was in a relationship the the Lord told me to leave, but I was comfortable. With someone who I was unequally yoked to. Two, I was married but single. Playing house! Having sex, sharing bills, having a car in both of our names, etc. I was still drinking, and entangled in my own ways. I was in a very unhappy and unhealthy place. I was listening to so many people that my mind was beyond confused. I really had about 100 meltdowns talking to Jesus. Finally in June of 2016 I left that relationship. One reason I was so comfortable in that relationship is because I was dependent on my ex boyfriend. He helped me with a lot of things, so I was used to him always being there for me. That day I was boyfriendless, jobless, broke, and jumping from household to household. When I stood still I realized I was completely stripped from the things I thought I needed to fill me.
I am not going to lie to you. That was one intense season, but it was ordained by God. So many tend to think that when you encounter trials, test, and setbacks that is the devil. No, as my Pastor has been preaching to Cornerstone; these trials have purpose (1 Peter 1:6-7). I needed to get re energized in God. God wanted me to be rooted in Him. God wanted our relationship to go to another level. He wanted me all to himself. He wanted to show me something’s that He couldn’t show me before. It was time for my faith to be anchored in Him, and Him alone. I needed this glorious season. I not only went deeper in God, but I had so many Holy encounters that I still remember as I type this. I have never had so much fun digging into the word. I learned so much in that season. I grew to believe in, and trust in the word of God. Even though my ex boyfriend was doing so much evil to me I was growing, and becoming a different woman. One of my closest family members telling me everyday that I made a mistake, and talking about me as if I dod not make the right choice by leaving him. Even though it was embarrassing being a 26 year old with no job, no car, no money, no steady household to live in, and having people talking about me; I still kept my faith. I still kept moving forward as best as I could. I had my days, and I cried many of nights. I was so hurt by how people were treating me, and speaking false things about me. As if I wanted my life to be like this. The enemy was really at work in trying to make me respond in hopelesness, doubt, pity, and anger toward God; and the sad part was satan was using my family to do it. Those old feelings of being a failure, not good enough, a mistake, and inadequacy were piercing my heart. I have never been so hurt in my life, but I learned how to push through in prayer and worship. I will never be the same after that summer in 2016. Me and papa have come a long way. He covered me, comfroted me, spoke life into me, and I am so grateful for the love He bestowed on me. I had no clue until this year what He was doing on the inside of me. I am forever grateful!
Beautiful you are loved and cherished by God. His plans are the absolute best for you (Jer. 29:11).The route I had to take, my trials, and circumstances may be different than yours. He may take you in another direction to still get the end result, and that is increasing your faith, and love for Him. I pray that if you are saved, and you are finding yourself creeping back into your old lifestyle, that His strength will infuse you. I pray that His holy fire will impart in you, and never be put out. I pray for self control as you dig in His word, and live by the word. May His word be deeply rooted in your heart, mind, and soul. If you are in a relationship with someone that you are not equally yoked to. In a relationship that the Lord told you to let go of. In a relationship that you have out grown. In a relationship that is violent (abusive or verbal). I pray that the veil be removed, and you see yourself as God see’s you. I bind up the spirit of unworthiness, inadequacy, rejection, abandonment, lust, double mindedness, unbelief, pride, bitterness, and anger right now in the name of Jesus. May you walk in the liberty where Christ has made you free. May the yokes be loosened. May the chains be broken. May the strongholds be pulled down in the name of Jesus. I pray that He will guide you, and cover you with peace as you step out of what is not God ordained. I pray that you be refreshed in His presence! No weapon formed against you shall prosper my love. You are a child of God, and no man can pluck you from His hands. No matter what you may be going through the battle has already been won. You have the King of Kings on your side babygirl. You have won. Do not let this shrink you back from becoming who God has called you to be. This right here darling will produce something far greater in you that you would have never imagined. This was not a lost. This was a win!!! I was ashamed, guilty, and timid about moving forward into who I was because of all the wrong choices I made. He redeemed me!!!!! He gave me new life in my darkest times, when I had no clue what was going on. He forgave me and my mess. He took that mess and made something beautiful. I am not the same person that I was in 2016, shoot I am not even the same person from last week. His spirit and word is alive, and it is life changing. I urge you today my sister to forget the former things. He wants to do something new in you, but you have to be willing. You have to repent, and know that you are forgiven. You have to want to surrender all. You have to make a choice. Go through the wilderness, or keep walking in circles! I love you so much. Come back on Thursday for part two!!!!